Last Day In CHONG HWA INDEPENDENT HIGH SCHOOL..misses always!

'MARIA'為了心中所愛的人 , 而受傷了每一個人... (Hamasaki Ayumi - M )

Apparently, My online friend didn't went for NS. Sweat. Anyways, don't care lo. he lied to me.... no mood talk to him already.

Today was my last day in CH independent high. I still can't accept the fact that i'm not gonna study in my school again. It seems so unbelievable. I kinda miss Chong Hwa. Just like AhFeiDian said, missing school. Today was the last day wearing school uniform. Hey, I'm 17 already. Time to start a new life in colleges/universities. Meet new people. And maybe I'll forget friends that are dearest to me. So hope that form5 will be forever in my life. I love form5 the most. Well, off all forms, form1 and form5 gave the biggest impression to me. I'll miss Yap Mun Yee (叶美妤） Colin Chan Yin Yin (陈吟芸）, Ho Han Ying (贺涵颖），Sze Hui Yeng (徐慧莹），Ang Lai Meng (洪黎明） and soooo much more.... not to mention p3ar, but that will be the past. Haiz..... Miss my friends and school!! I can't forget you all!!! T_T

Unexpected meet up.

Well, NS is around the corner. 26/27 december I'll be going to Mantin camp. Somewhr in Seremban. my mum says that it's quite near to where we stay. And 1 thing, very unexpectedly, an online friend of mine... IS IN THE SAME CAMP AS ME! Wow... I feel so...刺激. haha. This is the first meet up I'm going to do. Coz, I never met my online friends real life before. Not anyone. Ah Dien, first known last year, is in the same batch and in the same camp as me. I think I'll freak out. Ahh sweat~!~

NS...I'm actually having mixed feelings about it. I am excited, scared, confused, curious, awaiting and pushed back towards it as well. OK, I have no idea what i'm saying. = =~ I'm kinda excited coz I'm able to stay on my own without my parents. I've always finding this chance to do this. Not because i hate them, I just wanna try out how independent is. Scared that I can't find up a friend there. And I have to listen to Malay,which is one of my weak subjects in school. Confused as I don't know if I can cope with it. That's why I'm looking forward to it but I'm also trying to pull myself away from it. I think, It will be a great experience. Wish me luck~!

Jealousy factor - away from me pls

I hate being in the center of couples. I don't feel comfortable and i don't feel nice and most of all, I hate that feeling!! BO song. NOT that I feel that coz I don't have a bf, it's because it's becoming too fake. Some things i have no idea how to explain it. And to tell, the truth, I can't talk bout this. I don't want to ruin anybody's relationship. I keep it to myself. Just don't make me the "jealousy" factor. I will feel as if i'm being used only and don't feel well.

Until the day we will meet again..I will forget!

Tomorrow will be the last day I'll ever see him again. And i think, I will get my life on. No more looking back. No more thinking childish stuffs bout you. No more.. No more.. No more.. Not at all. Maybe, I'll have the memories of liking you. But those will be when I meet you again. And those memories are just history. I know, It won't happen. Just the thing of fanciness bout you makes it all.

12:35am and I'm half awake

Busy downloading some jap songs.. And i'm boring of keep downloading them. Because I need to wait so long when i wanna sleep = =~ C'mon! At least tat TVXQ's Sky.. the one before it was so... short. Some of them were missing. I love this song very much. But it always went nothing at the end. that frustrated me alot. Now, that's better. Although I haven't download finish that song. But I think this is the original 1. O yes~ Writing this blog..is to stop myself from downloading more japanese songs. I'm tired. But as long as my hands aren't working. I'll keep looking for more japanese artists and download their songs. 31% of 4files... wow... so slow. = =~ Hope my sis ain't downloading too. if not, I think I'll have to wait till tmr.

Remember those eyes, black pupils,
even though they're not hazel,
not blue nor green,
but who cares?
I just can't take them of my mind,
Even they're not diamonds,
they still shine as bright
as my mind would think of them.
I hate this crush
at the same time,
I love this crush.
I may act calm,
but blood rush
through my arteries and veins
you act serious,
as if I'm the one you're seeing
As a dream,
everything is dimmed
like butter or cream
melt as u touch it.
none does come true,
when nothing had been done.
no actions,
no chances.
listen to your heart,
take your heart out,
and work it out.
even it it fails,
whoever won't?

So what?!

When I say I don't wanna talk bout P3ar. I just wanna talk bout p3ar!! stupid. Haiz...

that day he talked to me. walao eh~ i can still remember the look. The eyes, the hair, the words. Which reminds me to download "7 things" on limewire. LOlx~ "7 things i like bout you - your hair your smile....bla bla bla"...can't exactly remember how it goes. HE was talking to me. Well, asking me things. I answered as if I know it but actually, I'm kinda scared that I'll say wrong anything or my tongue would go entangled. Oh my god.. Maybe he can see that I'm calm. But deep inside, i actually freaking out. Panicing.

Ever since LM told me that he knows that i likes him, he seemed like...NOTHING. yea nothing. In fact, he keep talking to me or i dunno how to say it...But it felt like weird. I can say that LM's words are trustable...On behalf that i know him and also...he doesn't seem that he could lie me. Well, I dunno~

Dreams won't get you to it. Actions does.

I want to Crush it, Crush it!

LM told me that P3ar knows that I like him. He said that he can feel it. Generally, I don't think I myself contributed the most. Well,~ Maybe a little little little~ hehe. HY and LM contributed the most.. HAIYA!! They keep making fun with him, especially that....LM.. T_T AND ShuYan too. I feel like so embarrassed by their actions. I sometimes really dunno how to face him already. ALTHOUGH I did say I will try to give up on him...but....sometimes I myself can't stop staring at him. Well, although it's just a blink from far.

Today, he talked to me quite a lot. 1 thing I don't understand bout boys... They seem like GIRLS! Why? Cause I think they like the feeling of being chase after. HAHAZ~ Obviously, he still likes someone else. But, basically, he knows that i like him and he still talks to me and sometimes trying to catch my attention. = = Ahh SWT! Guys!!!~!!!

Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away,
But I know this crush aint goin away-yay-yay-yayyay,
goin away-yay-yay-yayyay,
but i love this crush, I can't give it up myself