Lif3 in NS (1)

28/12/08 - 0948 - DAY1

The activities haven't started yet and it's getting boring! At least there CHKL student with me.. =)

I met some people there...

• Huey Lin
• Steffie
• Lai Kwan
• Hui Jing
• Nadia
• Mira

I haven't got a chance to talk to an Indian for now..It's not easy to chat with a malays either.. They talk very fast and it's hard to understand. Today is a Sunday...and we can carry out our own activities..which is chatting and sleeping(not for me) Food here is HARD TO STAND! There's chilli in every meal...But...Others still ok la.. HAiz.. I missed home...oh god! A batch of johorians will be arriving this evening and boys are gonna shave to skin heads... hahahazz..~ But seriously...BORING!

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29/12/08 - XXxx - DAY2

闷死了...时间？没闹钟就是酱啦！都说要带闹钟，可是妈妈说不需要。 Now, I've lost track of time and "day" and "night" are the only 2 words that can be used to describe time... We got our clothes today..But, tons of them needed to be changed.. They demo how our place should be kept..Darn! I don't know what to say! I just prefer having it my own way..

Once again,no no wrong...supposed to be today............well, lights are down now..sleeping time..tomorrow there's stuff to doearly in the morning...to be continue...

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30/12 - XXxx - DAY3

As i was saying, yesterday...i went to the shop nearby to buy this botebook and some hangers...A guy known as CC Wai... took the last hangers when i "almost" got my hands towards it..my friends ask me,,why aren't i taking any hangers? i accidentally blurted out...he took the last hangers... and he gave it to me then.. I was..quite regretted bout my actions...Roll call yesterday... he was glancing towards me with his friends...I THINK that they're talking bout me...Haiz....=='

Friends...haiz...i have no idea why it's hard for me to keep friendships...maybe it's because i'm a bore person..I don't seemed to be important...Like i said i wanna to go the public phone to call, they didn't even wait for me at all.. T.T

Anyways, today morning, I was awaken by someone's alarm clock, which is a good thing becasue i was afraid i can't wake up at all.. During KKJ...we need to design a flag and a I-dunno-what-is-that-thing-called and a song.. Boring! felt like calling back hopme and hear that sei zai bao's voice...missed him T.T~

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31/12 - XXxx - DAY5

KKJ period, we get to interact with boys..first time...and we knew some guys...Kevin..Wei Yang..Daniel...Tan...but they have already shaved their heads....which makes them botak...and hard to regconize...lolx~

IN the morning, we gather at the padang for bla bla bla...i dunno what..Mira suddenly asked e to ikrar without earlier notice..haiz..so fish... the jurulatih said i didn't pay attention...By right, I can't even see them white they're doing yesterday...Darn..It's like bullying girls...zzz...

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1,2,3,4/1/09 - XXxx - DAY6,7,8,9

Ah gong passed away on the last day of 2008 time 3pm+...It seems that he passed away peacefully without any torture.. The monk asks us not to cry....

I was shock when my name was called...I've been told to go to the pejabat..I was shock to see my mum and sis there....Then they told me that ah gong passed away...And i must attend the funeral...

When we reached there, family members were chanting.....for the sake Ah gong will reach heaven safely.......the chant must went on until the day he's cremate...

I remembered...During the cremation...It was so sad to stand the whole family's tears...We had to let them out...so did i.....When the scene of pushing ur ancestors into the burning fire.......no more chances to see him again.......

I got back home to KL they day he's been cremated..I stayed 1 more night there.. Tomorrow I had to go back to camp for NS...I will be missing the picking up ah gong's ashes ceremony....

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5/1 - XXxx - Day10

went back to camp today...

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6/1/09 - 1335 - DAY11

Today morning, we gathered at the padang as followed..Cikgu Ain put on some music and we danced...fun~ haha....

I heard an angry thing today...somebody actually had a gf but ask another in camp for her handphone number...SWT! I hate this kinda guy!

Today..my first time in class...Mizi...same class as me.. do the V^^ look at me... I have no idea what's he doing..and I don't know how to react....I just ignored him...wakakkaa...then there's Raja..A funny guy which keep making fun od Cikgu Wan...

Luckily there's soem1 with me from the same dorm..her name is Zila..And I was in the same group as her,Mizi, Raja, Natasha, Sam, Khairul, Ika, Dayah..

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readying up

5days

5 days before NS... I have to pack up my things. And even sleep earlier. So that i can cope with the timing over there. Hmm... Tomorrow I have to sleep bout 11pm..And 10pm and 9pm...most probably 9.30pm. can't sleep with that "thing" crawling around my bed...p/s: thing = didi... Other than that, let me see what to bring there...

• toothbrush/toothpaste
• body/hair shampoo
• 3 T-shirt
• 2 3-quater pants
• 2 CHKL shorts
• 3 pair of undies(i dun have to say aloud - -')
• cleanser/ sun block
• 1 small book..as diary..what do you expect when i can't blog..==
• 1 pencil box
• phone/charger...although they don't allow..but i rather put it with them..later my mum...can see all my msg..=-=
• 1 pair flip-flops
• 1 normal pair of shoes/sandals
• o yah...bread..as in "bread"...
• maybe a book...to read/study during free time.
• 1 picture of that "thing"..lolx

Even i tell you, it won't change anything.
you can't help me.
And both you 2...
...and I
will feel that I myself am selfish.
Selfish me but sensitive
I hate myself as well
so I remain silent.
16days more...

I don't know why I'll cry.
Or even worse,
when i think bout these problems

By doing this, I dunno what will be next...
Am i asking for attention?

Replacable

I can't stand myself.Jealousy was not my part but every time i see her with them everything like so different i'm invisible nobody cares nobody knows the tears flowing inside my heart i try not to be but i cant i felt like replaced by someone else more stuff to say more things to talk finding out that i'm actually not important it hurts it really do why nobody knows? Please don't. I felt hurt. very very hurt. By actions by words. I felt like wanna lose these friends. feelings are feelings. I cant deny it. I rather never to talk to you both anymore. These feelings are really killing me. I feel sad i feel uncomfortable, i feel replaced. god damn it!!! please don't force me...............

Genting~ 5/12

Came back from Genting for quite awhile now, but i don't have the time to write bout it~ lolx~ Coz my grandpa admitted into hospital again. Hope he's ok...

I'm quite fun with the genting holidays. Even though my feet were pain and needed 2 days to fully recover. I have no idea when was the last time I stepped into the outdoor theme park. Way before I was in primary school i guess. Finally i can step inside again!! I first time sat the Space shot. Which was aka Terror Tower. The thing my parents played but not me when we're in Australia. Anyways, It was quite an experience. The chair we sat on move up slowly at first, stops at the highest location of the tower for some time and drop like SHIT! onto the ground. = =~

There's just too many things to say bout, but i really dunno how to spit it out now. I kinda lose track of my memories. Everything just going too fast in my head. OK, let's sort it out:

• Josie didn't sit the bus to Genting skyway station as she was late
• Theme park was such a fun, so many rides we sat. Roller coasters, Boating, photographing. Not to mention saw Jun Yong and some other CHKL's students but we dunno what's they're name
• Mun saw a leng zai. And that leng zai seemed like kept following us. Like seeing him whenever we go. Even the next day when we're on our way taking the bus.
  
• The clowns are cute and very naughty as well. haha. we met 2 tall clowns, 1 girl clown, 1 mine-dunno-what-to-call (doesn't laugh), and 1 normal clown. = ='
  
• Saw a fella dressed up so damn yeng! It's like XDO came alive. Haiz. So wish can take a photo of him~
  
• We became bunch of freaks when we're taking photos by jumping Nth times.

That's like overall bout it. I love it~ Haha...
but my dad made it awkward when he said that I'm more enjoyed bout going out with friends than with my mum. That's so not true! I enjoyed when I'm with my mum too. It's just a different type of enjoyment. With friends, it's adventurous. With mum, it's calm and quiet with fresh breezes of the cool air. I'm not complaining. I love them both as much as i can.