so close!!! yet so far =.=

I think...i make a new conclusion today.. I want to try my best to draw his attention to me. I totally have no idea if that will work.. but, my heart is pursuing me to take a try..take a try..make a change and have no regrets. I wonder...~?

well,~ according to today's title... what does this mean??!!~ lolz~ ok, story is:

This morning, i reached school later than usual (due to my young bro waking up so early, my mother was unable to do her housework chores, that's why we delayed the time we went out). Upon reaching the school, i thought that : wait! I might be able to walk with pear to class (because about 7am he'll reach school everyday.. that time then was 6.5x am). So, i was so nervous looking towards it when i reached school. I reached..and i walked... and then... i saw a bus in front of the school gates. I saw him! I saw him!! I saw him inside the bus about to make his move down the bus! BUT! i didn't have the intention to stop and wait 4 him to come down the bus, i chose to continue on my way to the class.(I don't want him to think that I'm having a crush on him! It'll like be so embarrassing! and,LM told me he won't speak to that person if she likes him...T_T..well, unless he like =.=). I made my way to the stairs and climbed up. I can't believe i just lost that opportunity to walk with him alone! OMG!! so close!! I wonder if that moment will repeat again....? I felt so...not satisfied.. I told my friend, HY, which sit beside me. She kinda...ask me to wait in the toilet till he reached and jump out and say "hi" =.=" so much for the plan...haha

Just Hoping 1 Day...

Somehow, giving up needs some time rite~? XD~

I know, Anybody reading this will feel that i'm a totally,well, how to put this, hmm, out of my mind?? haha... ok..today's feeling and yesterday's feeling...kinda different.. didn't u heard that women change their minds easily?~ =P

Swearing that i will TRY to give up on pear, but... I really can't resist looking at him!!!!!!!!!!! erm, scan through him to be exact. Scan as if there's no CY that matter comes through before just like before I know about him liking CY. I know, reality IS reality~! But, i ought to have some time to totally get over him.

my friend told me that like some1 can happen in the nick of time, but trying to forget? try years larhx!!

YET, IT IS BEAUTIFUL TO DREAM SOMETHING
EVEN IF IT WON'T HAPPEN...
(or maybe will? XD)

矛盾生活 - 我很烦！

Xxx，唉！ 唉唉唉唉！！！

我喜欢你，却很想放弃。你知道为什么吗？ 因为你喜欢CY，我很控制不了自己，不是说恨你，但我无法面对自己自作多情，以为你喜欢我，以为自己有机会，就是这么的想和你接触，但就是这么的难。现在，我不懂该不该继续喜欢你。觉得是不应该，却控制不了，我很讨厌！我很烦！如果我瘦了一点，你会考虑我妈？或至少，注意到我？

记得那天望着你惶惶的眼神，就像我每次乘机瞄了你一下那种眼神。你的声音，很实，很有安全感，很舒服，也是因为它，我喜欢了你。写着些该已没用了，你喜欢的是CY，我？就在那么远远的地方哭着。虽然你表白不成功，但你心里也没我，只好偷偷摸摸地看你，望你。愿有一天，你会注意咯，你会知道我是第一次那么喜欢一个人，我是说很喜欢的那种。至今，我看我只好默默看你那种眼神了，希望你会开心。

So dunno wat to do

anybody can teach me?
haiz... pear ah pear... how can u be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo haiz... if u dun like me..pls dun play with my emotions, i'll be much better ya knoe??? 失单恋！！！

no matter next time how i try to lie myself over...i must remember how to face reality... cant afford another hurt in my heart ya know??

Chehhhhh~~~~~

cheh!~ so that LM bluff me.. summore say "really really!" =.=' he lied that pear like somebody else =.=... make me so.........almost give up.........

this pear ar!! dunno wat's wit him! aaaaaaaaa!!! so hard to knoe wat guys thinking =.=! haha.. sweat rite~ =P

exams hooray~

Hooray~ my Sejarah exam got the highest~ =P paid off all my hard work~ reading in the dark before sleeping...spoiling my eyesight =.= at least, i have good results~ so is my chemistry exams~ 33 over 40. not the highest but impressive ^^

actually, hard work only cost 25% of scoring...most importantly~ concentration during class~ which has a percentage of 70%~ what bout the 5% left?? well~ L-U-C-K!~ hahaha~

Try my best in doing exams~
+u+u myself!!!!
SPM SCORE A!

Bad Hair for a Bad Day! GRAH!

feel sad and angry today...well, sad is because of pear...and angry because of CZ again!! ><" i told one of pear's best fren that i like him, and...haiz~ apparently, he likes some1 else already. same class too. much cuter, much prettier.. haiz~ self-inferior-ing >"< it's kinda sad...but...it's better not to paktoh this year wert~ rite?~ later oso break up shou chang = hurt oso.hahahaha~ 1 more year and i can wear wat i want, like who i like~!! looking forward...to not wearing school uniform =.='!

ok~ now angry part~ it's not that i like to show off or wat, but at least~!! dun think that u're the biggest of all!! GRAHHH!!! she's the 1 who always make me no mood to do anything..zzz when will she gonna chg her attitude??! well, to say the truth, or should i say "in fact", she's really changing boyfrens like clothes! like this and that! even i'm not like tat. haiz~! think u so pretty and all then very big ??! Pui! yucks! clean ur attitude pls MISSY!!!

stressful life - wanna go crazy!

kinda cant get over myself these days.. so much examinations... it's like i haven't got enough time to clear up all the shit! ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

too much exams, too much stress! any place to have a peace of my mind??!! T_T

CZ-ZzZzZz

ok! I have no idea what's with CZ!! She's kinda being too over-reactive! or mayb sensitive! whoever mermaid wanna be wift who is her own choice. what's up wit CZ? crazy! she's like so xiao qi i sometimes cant stand her either. I mean, what bout me? nobody cares bout me, i fly so low. and yet i din say anything at all. Even if i do, i dont think every1 will remember it anyways! CZ should really be more into it! try not to be tat selfish lo!

anyways, just hope she wont create more trouble...i feel depressed too!

Pear~~~~~

Actually.. i like this some1 in class...(refer as pear..XD) he's KINDA tall...KINDA out of shape ( head small body long..hahaZ) but..something attracts me..which is..his voice..super bass~ and sometimes u cant hear the words that came out of his mouth clearly. Anyways~ I've been trying my best to catch his attention..like..always pass his seat either on reason or on no reason~ Just like the way he sometimes JOKINGLY ask me to consider him =.= Although still jokingly... i'm stupidly happy~~ haha..

How i started a crush on him?? well, started with a stupid stapler..=.= i dunno how to use this stupid stapler...and then he taught me.. and then KABOOM~ swt... Did i mention i always wanted to "accidentally" walk into him when i was "trying" to make my way to toilet=.=? wanna accidentally bump into him..haha..nowadays, he seldom jokingly talk to me..it feel kinda bored..haha...he makes the day out of me~ =P I hope somethings can come out from me and him... how i wish that would happen 1 day..><"

Welcome~

Welcome to my blog~ well, this is actually my personal diary... as I don't feel safe writing somewhr =.= WHY??? Coz I'm kinda shy to let any1 know how I'm feeling~ XD Anyways~ I trust strangers to read it. =P I can tell who i had a crush on.. and who i hate...wakakaka.. feel free to scan through~ ^^