so there's 2 group in our class. gangs more preferred, but we don't mind. we still all live in harmonious life. the thing is i might be having feelings for this guy which is already unavailable. he is in my class. truth is. i never want to confess to anybody, including myself. because once i accept the reality (then tell my friends about it), i will be getting all over him, including making a shame out of myself. Humiliation. And...well, friendship still lasts the longest, right? In the mean time, he's taken, and i'm merely a passerby in his life. it shouldn't be making any significance in his/my life. I should however accept the fact that he's just a friend and that is all. =)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Media
The media, the communication tool, has transmitted news-both globally and locally- to mostly every households all around the world. It remains crucial in every day's life for newspapers always back us up on the latest news or gossips all around the world. While the media is thriving in it's industry, some claimed that it is somehow being misused and this raises concerns from certain parties, varying from parents and educationist to politicians and to celebrities, which portrays the disadvantages of the mass media in a society, in a country and also to the globe.
Almost 99% households in the US states own at least a television set(TV). With the increasing chances of exposure of TV to children at home, it is believed that the media present a threat to them as parents claimed that the media depiction of aggressive acts is potential enough to indoctrinate the younger generation's mind, especially adolescents, where they can't tell whether the make-belief movies are reality or just a virtual world. In contrary, media violence is one of the most debated issue worldwide and it is often brought up in elections. In the case of life imitating art, 2 teenagers went on a murder spree based on Oliver Stone's movie "Natural Born Killer". Since then, parents concern about the cartoon violence, verbal aggression and the aggressive acts displayed on TV. In the 1970s, Hollywood were given a pushed to institute a rating system in order for parents to decide the suitability of the movies for their children. Although it has proved effective, the potential threat still remains as parental supervision is always limited.
With the aid of the press and the media, politician's image are posed to be tarnished by opposition leaders. It can be started out with personal interest, or for the power, when one's is die-hard to attack some other politicians, attempts can be made by just through media. With the huge sum of money "prized" to an unethical journalist, one can simply spoil the others' image. This circulation of libels in newspapers caused citizens unable to determined which are the "good" guys and which are the "bad" guys. Worst of all, they ended up supporting the wrong leader and suffer through their lives! As a result, most people do not accept whatever that was written or reported in the news for it could be bias itself. For instance, Maharashta PWD Minister Chaggan Bhujbai in Mumbai said that the reportedly "vilification campaign" against him for his alleged connection to the multi-croke fake stamp paper scam was an attempt to damage his political career, as well as to tarnish his and his family's image.
Almost 99% households in the US states own at least a television set(TV). With the increasing chances of exposure of TV to children at home, it is believed that the media present a threat to them as parents claimed that the media depiction of aggressive acts is potential enough to indoctrinate the younger generation's mind, especially adolescents, where they can't tell whether the make-belief movies are reality or just a virtual world. In contrary, media violence is one of the most debated issue worldwide and it is often brought up in elections. In the case of life imitating art, 2 teenagers went on a murder spree based on Oliver Stone's movie "Natural Born Killer". Since then, parents concern about the cartoon violence, verbal aggression and the aggressive acts displayed on TV. In the 1970s, Hollywood were given a pushed to institute a rating system in order for parents to decide the suitability of the movies for their children. Although it has proved effective, the potential threat still remains as parental supervision is always limited.
With the aid of the press and the media, politician's image are posed to be tarnished by opposition leaders. It can be started out with personal interest, or for the power, when one's is die-hard to attack some other politicians, attempts can be made by just through media. With the huge sum of money "prized" to an unethical journalist, one can simply spoil the others' image. This circulation of libels in newspapers caused citizens unable to determined which are the "good" guys and which are the "bad" guys. Worst of all, they ended up supporting the wrong leader and suffer through their lives! As a result, most people do not accept whatever that was written or reported in the news for it could be bias itself. For instance, Maharashta PWD Minister Chaggan Bhujbai in Mumbai said that the reportedly "vilification campaign" against him for his alleged connection to the multi-croke fake stamp paper scam was an attempt to damage his political career, as well as to tarnish his and his family's image.
This is just an essay and it does not support/ruin any parties mentioned above.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
~The miracle life with the colours of Mu$ic~
How will anyone live without music?
I'm so happy and i appreciate the inventors of a good music~ Music either be sung, written, or being danced, relieves just what a difficult frustrating life someone or anyone would have.
Lately, I been listening to music from many countries. My most lovable songs of all times, POP~ Yupz, thanks to the contribution of MJ in the pop music industry, although I don't really listen to his songs. Probably every1 would heard of JK POP. Those who never encounter this words before, it stands for Japanese and Korean Pop, aka Japanese and Korean songs which adapted the western style in music.
In Korean, Rain, Super Junior and most importantly, TVXQ/DBSK/Tohoshinki are famous. And I love them. TVXQ has too much to say about, I don't think i'll be able to finish them here~ Rain's songs, I know they're great, but i seldom exposed to his songs on TV or radio. So, Super Junior. The first time I watch their MV, it's like... wow~ so many dancers, which 1 are from the band? hah~ I can't help hitting myself when I don't even know......SJ has so many members, thanks to my fren, I knew that there's 13 ppl in this group. At first, I thought it's impossible for 13 people to form a group. Why? it's because...
1. More people lead to more arguments - group breaks up easily.
2. More people means, the public won't remember the member's face/name. well, it's a common thing for me to forget~ maybe it's just my problem~ haha~
But i have to say, more people brings more style to a dance video. The choerogragphy....1 word to mention all - fabulous~! Although the group is big, SJ never fails to bring good music and good dance moves to the whole world, particularly the Asians. The choreography never goes wrong/messy but instead, with style. I have to give a big hand of applause to the choreographer. Thanks to my That friend again, I knew that talented human being from my very own CHKL made a video of their own. with the beatbox and singing and dancing of SJ's "sorry sorry". i was watching, and It's good! love it too~
In Japan, wow, there's alot!!! TVXQ, Yuna Ito, Chemistry, Utada, Sexy-guy Gackt, Arashi, Ayumi, Kat-tun, Amuro namie, Aoyama Thelma, w-inds, SMAP, Jyongri and Yui...so many more are my favourites. Well, to tell the truth, the language made me knew them. And they make me know Japanese language more~~ Yuna Ito, strong powerful vocal with beautiful looks. She's my no.1! Her songs are always very real and touching, with like a touch of her very own experience, never once her songs fail me. Love her. Boy bands, w-inds, a simple 3-people-band, with vocals of different voice, sometimes i thought this isn't w-inds song because it doesn't sound like the others, but the truth is it is their songs~ Arashi, now caught my attention. Formerly thought as OLD(their songs sounded old...but not now) now gave me a new impression as songs starting to catch up. With catchy beats and cool dance moves, I have to give two thumbs up!
I'm so happy and i appreciate the inventors of a good music~ Music either be sung, written, or being danced, relieves just what a difficult frustrating life someone or anyone would have.
Lately, I been listening to music from many countries. My most lovable songs of all times, POP~ Yupz, thanks to the contribution of MJ in the pop music industry, although I don't really listen to his songs. Probably every1 would heard of JK POP. Those who never encounter this words before, it stands for Japanese and Korean Pop, aka Japanese and Korean songs which adapted the western style in music.
In Korean, Rain, Super Junior and most importantly, TVXQ/DBSK/Tohoshinki are famous. And I love them. TVXQ has too much to say about, I don't think i'll be able to finish them here~ Rain's songs, I know they're great, but i seldom exposed to his songs on TV or radio. So, Super Junior. The first time I watch their MV, it's like... wow~ so many dancers, which 1 are from the band? hah~ I can't help hitting myself when I don't even know......SJ has so many members, thanks to my fren, I knew that there's 13 ppl in this group. At first, I thought it's impossible for 13 people to form a group. Why? it's because...
1. More people lead to more arguments - group breaks up easily.
2. More people means, the public won't remember the member's face/name. well, it's a common thing for me to forget~ maybe it's just my problem~ haha~
But i have to say, more people brings more style to a dance video. The choerogragphy....1 word to mention all - fabulous~! Although the group is big, SJ never fails to bring good music and good dance moves to the whole world, particularly the Asians. The choreography never goes wrong/messy but instead, with style. I have to give a big hand of applause to the choreographer. Thanks to my That friend again, I knew that talented human being from my very own CHKL made a video of their own. with the beatbox and singing and dancing of SJ's "sorry sorry". i was watching, and It's good! love it too~
In Japan, wow, there's alot!!! TVXQ, Yuna Ito, Chemistry, Utada, Sexy-guy Gackt, Arashi, Ayumi, Kat-tun, Amuro namie, Aoyama Thelma, w-inds, SMAP, Jyongri and Yui...so many more are my favourites. Well, to tell the truth, the language made me knew them. And they make me know Japanese language more~~ Yuna Ito, strong powerful vocal with beautiful looks. She's my no.1! Her songs are always very real and touching, with like a touch of her very own experience, never once her songs fail me. Love her. Boy bands, w-inds, a simple 3-people-band, with vocals of different voice, sometimes i thought this isn't w-inds song because it doesn't sound like the others, but the truth is it is their songs~ Arashi, now caught my attention. Formerly thought as OLD(their songs sounded old...but not now) now gave me a new impression as songs starting to catch up. With catchy beats and cool dance moves, I have to give two thumbs up!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
unexpected talk...?
1 week has passed...
morning.....I walked to the DK following the normal route...I saw that same walking style, the same hairstyle...just the fashion he was holding not like him...= = And i saw HIM again~ lol.. Bet this time i cant run. If i do, I will feel and look super super stupid...haha..We cant avoid this conversation. Not this. Finally, an official meeting up...but unexpected.. I wonder i should go there today? To make up the last "library-meet" = =... saying i wasn't sure that it was him...? or wat? Aiyo~~~~~ lolx
morning.....I walked to the DK following the normal route...I saw that same walking style, the same hairstyle...just the fashion he was holding not like him...= = And i saw HIM again~ lol.. Bet this time i cant run. If i do, I will feel and look super super stupid...haha..We cant avoid this conversation. Not this. Finally, an official meeting up...but unexpected.. I wonder i should go there today? To make up the last "library-meet" = =... saying i wasn't sure that it was him...? or wat? Aiyo~~~~~ lolx
Unexpected meet up?
Today, the day again. LOLx
Actually, I can choose to meet him now.. at the library. But... I'm so freaking scared. lolx.
the story happened last week at i think bout now......
MH went to meet his gf and i'm alone online. I was thinking that maybe I online another 30mins then go to canteen 2 take my lunch and go to the library. Right after I ate my lunch, i went there as planned. To my happy = = and heart attack dismay, I saw him outside the library, looking into his bag. Most probably finding his college card. When i saw him. my heart beat becomes frequent and......bok bok bok tiu. LOLx... I entered into the library as fast as i can. I cant bear him saw me passed by. = = I chose a place to sit down. A few minutes, this guy with 2 more other his friends bump in. He look around and see if there's any space for them. he didn't see me or maybe he saw...but didn't regconize me.. or maybe he saw and he recognized me but didn't dare to talk...? QUESTION MARKS!! "????????????"
<......1 hour later......>
I bring PZ and JH to the library. to show them "him". well. i was finding him everywhere. Nope. He's nowhere in sight........phew i think. so PZ and I went to the book shelf to check on the books. Our library is somehow like floors by floors in a big building. In the center of the whole building, there's like holes that u can look below. Just like in shopping centers...but of coz la..smaller = =...
I saw HIM...below the next floor. I saw HIM!! I quickly hid myself.... I hide behind the book shelf = =... really......stuupid...!! He saw me... He glanced at me...I saw HIM!! and HE saw me = =... ok.. i should really stop emphasising on that. lol....And I left....=( But i was too embrassed for hiding myself... sweat...
But the story doesn't end here...
Actually, I can choose to meet him now.. at the library. But... I'm so freaking scared. lolx.
the story happened last week at i think bout now......
MH went to meet his gf and i'm alone online. I was thinking that maybe I online another 30mins then go to canteen 2 take my lunch and go to the library. Right after I ate my lunch, i went there as planned. To my happy = = and heart attack dismay, I saw him outside the library, looking into his bag. Most probably finding his college card. When i saw him. my heart beat becomes frequent and......bok bok bok tiu. LOLx... I entered into the library as fast as i can. I cant bear him saw me passed by. = = I chose a place to sit down. A few minutes, this guy with 2 more other his friends bump in. He look around and see if there's any space for them. he didn't see me or maybe he saw...but didn't regconize me.. or maybe he saw and he recognized me but didn't dare to talk...? QUESTION MARKS!! "????????????"
<......1 hour later......>
I bring PZ and JH to the library. to show them "him". well. i was finding him everywhere. Nope. He's nowhere in sight........phew i think. so PZ and I went to the book shelf to check on the books. Our library is somehow like floors by floors in a big building. In the center of the whole building, there's like holes that u can look below. Just like in shopping centers...but of coz la..smaller = =...
I saw HIM...below the next floor. I saw HIM!! I quickly hid myself.... I hide behind the book shelf = =... really......stuupid...!! He saw me... He glanced at me...I saw HIM!! and HE saw me = =... ok.. i should really stop emphasising on that. lol....And I left....=( But i was too embrassed for hiding myself... sweat...
But the story doesn't end here...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
So it comes to the day where spare time is being wasted~ but actually, i got things to do la. just lazy to do yet. got 1 more hour or maybe 2 more hours to complete. so boring~ Quite some time in tarc. I like the scenery but not those stupid blood-sucking things fly here fly thr. then stick on ppl's leg and chut chut ppl's blood. sien die lu~!
In tarc rite, i found ppl who are really.........how to say? like to boast bout their english. When the lecturers speak alittle un normal words in different pronounciation, they're like so zhuai so chuan. after seeing this i also... haiyo....= =~ cannot blame ppl for talking like tat wert. In tarc, i'm starting to be lazy. this is call, normal psycology.= = everyone goes through tat. yesterday, I even fell sick and took an early leave but then come back again later. = =(for pratical) then broke a pipette. I don't know how much that cost..but lecturer say it's quite cheap...just the procedure's very...fan...ok la.. i think that's all. I need to submit my leave form and eat my lunch.. although it's just 10am...= =~
In tarc rite, i found ppl who are really.........how to say? like to boast bout their english. When the lecturers speak alittle un normal words in different pronounciation, they're like so zhuai so chuan. after seeing this i also... haiyo....= =~ cannot blame ppl for talking like tat wert. In tarc, i'm starting to be lazy. this is call, normal psycology.= = everyone goes through tat. yesterday, I even fell sick and took an early leave but then come back again later. = =(for pratical) then broke a pipette. I don't know how much that cost..but lecturer say it's quite cheap...just the procedure's very...fan...ok la.. i think that's all. I need to submit my leave form and eat my lunch.. although it's just 10am...= =~
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I had to start another new post. I can't help remembering bout the past.
1 day, sue and I were in Dewan Makan. The food is always the same same type of boring taste la. but I talked with her there. and the rain's pouring. I wonder how many buckets of tears shed on my face in the camp. mostly when i'm telling my feelings to her. We talked bout generally everything. Schools, anything happened in camp,health problems, friends, families and of coz, boys! XD~ literally everything. I remembered that time when we finished eating and dunno why this bunch of boys come and sing, dui mian de nv hai kan guo lai. I was so O.O!! sweat.. so paiseh... dunno them fa wat shen jing. literally, speecless. = = Then after taht, we shared the same umbrella and walk back to dorm. remember what we saw on the way home when the lightning's fight? well, I still don't know what is that. but it's not something unscary. haha. The drawing u drew.... is.....gone T.T!! shouldn't have washed it...
And huei ling. now she's doing cosmetics. aiyo u learn wat la, skin so white, even under the sun, only become red, won't become dark. so jealous luu. Anyways, her.... is here studying dunno wat computer-damn-long-name-programme. haha.. better u come here laa =D
1 day, sue and I were in Dewan Makan. The food is always the same same type of boring taste la. but I talked with her there. and the rain's pouring. I wonder how many buckets of tears shed on my face in the camp. mostly when i'm telling my feelings to her. We talked bout generally everything. Schools, anything happened in camp,health problems, friends, families and of coz, boys! XD~ literally everything. I remembered that time when we finished eating and dunno why this bunch of boys come and sing, dui mian de nv hai kan guo lai. I was so O.O!! sweat.. so paiseh... dunno them fa wat shen jing. literally, speecless. = = Then after taht, we shared the same umbrella and walk back to dorm. remember what we saw on the way home when the lightning's fight? well, I still don't know what is that. but it's not something unscary. haha. The drawing u drew.... is.....gone T.T!! shouldn't have washed it...
And huei ling. now she's doing cosmetics. aiyo u learn wat la, skin so white, even under the sun, only become red, won't become dark. so jealous luu. Anyways, her.... is here studying dunno wat computer-damn-long-name-programme. haha.. better u come here laa =D
Start school~
Starting in college is quite fun. especially when you knew friends during school/ in NS camp. But, now....i'm just at CITC killing time coz....my class's being cancelled and i had 2 hours break even before that. sweat. just no idea why i come here so early for just 1 class. i might as well skip it! =P *p/s: it's just a joke. i will never skip any of them...so scared scholarship boil soup...T.T
I saw him yesterday but he didn't see me. I dunno but maybe i should call it lucky. lolx. His approach made me remember bout frens in camp. Sue Finn.. aiyoooooo so miss you laaa... my 1st bff. It made me think of meeting her during this 2-weeks holidays.
Aiyoooo, those who were supposed to wake up and on msn please wake up and on msn larx! almost 10am jor still dunwan to wake up..= = sleep wat sleep la. faster online and pei me chat ma. lou dao arrr...so long din talk to u d... when i'm busy, bet u'll be free. when i'm free, u don't online...= =
I saw him yesterday but he didn't see me. I dunno but maybe i should call it lucky. lolx. His approach made me remember bout frens in camp. Sue Finn.. aiyoooooo so miss you laaa... my 1st bff. It made me think of meeting her during this 2-weeks holidays.
Aiyoooo, those who were supposed to wake up and on msn please wake up and on msn larx! almost 10am jor still dunwan to wake up..= = sleep wat sleep la. faster online and pei me chat ma. lou dao arrr...so long din talk to u d... when i'm busy, bet u'll be free. when i'm free, u don't online...= =
Friday, May 8, 2009
Mixed Feelings..
Today is the day I am waiting for all these while. But I'm not sure what I really want. Today, I will get the results of my JPA PILN scholarship... Whether my application is accepted or not, all will be know at 3pm. However, I really don't know which I should i support.
I wish to get it, so that I can travel to other country. Of coz, the scholarship is free as well. So, everything would be easier for my family.
I don't wish to get it, cause, TARC, the college i'm going soon, are full with my friends. they're going on 11 May for A level/ 18 may for diploma. On the other hand, my mother will surely miss me.
But anyways, I think, there's no slot for me. It's quite hard to get this scholarship. just follow my destiny, my fate...
I wish to get it, so that I can travel to other country. Of coz, the scholarship is free as well. So, everything would be easier for my family.
I don't wish to get it, cause, TARC, the college i'm going soon, are full with my friends. they're going on 11 May for A level/ 18 may for diploma. On the other hand, my mother will surely miss me.
But anyways, I think, there's no slot for me. It's quite hard to get this scholarship. just follow my destiny, my fate...
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Unfair? Just live up to it if ur a citizen of this world...
It's unfair. We all know it's unfair, arising from races and religions.
That day, when i got that result, that's the day, i felt the unfairness here. When I was younger, I always thought races could live up to each other peacefully and harmoniously, And of course, treat us as 1 person, that is the citizens of this country. But, in reality, they sided 1 race, the favored them more than the other races.
What's the reason behind it? 2 person with different race, but the privilege is given to the less qualified other than the other one just because of racism? I can't see any reason behind it. Even the history doesn't covers this "privilege", so don't tell me that I didn't study History of my own country. But this is too much! As if they were trying to erase us off the map. But remember, in history, freedom were gained with the help of the all the three races, and not just one. Why is it so unfair? Anyways, there's 2 choice to be made.
That day, when i got that result, that's the day, i felt the unfairness here. When I was younger, I always thought races could live up to each other peacefully and harmoniously, And of course, treat us as 1 person, that is the citizens of this country. But, in reality, they sided 1 race, the favored them more than the other races.
What's the reason behind it? 2 person with different race, but the privilege is given to the less qualified other than the other one just because of racism? I can't see any reason behind it. Even the history doesn't covers this "privilege", so don't tell me that I didn't study History of my own country. But this is too much! As if they were trying to erase us off the map. But remember, in history, freedom were gained with the help of the all the three races, and not just one. Why is it so unfair? Anyways, there's 2 choice to be made.
- Leave this country anyways. It's not about patriotism towards the country. but the politics are giving hecks to the citizens. Just learn those who went to Taiwan or other countries without having the need to bother coming back here. If I were that rich enough, I will follow artist such as Nicholas and leave here.
- So, if your pocket is broken, just close 1 of your eyes and live up like 'ya blind to see anything important.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Anime's freak~
I've been up late for animes too much lately. My mum and my sis of coz my dad all thinks that i've gone nuts! To watch all theese "stupid" show... = =. But I think it's a good way to learn japanese, aside from JPOP songs. So, lately, i'm watching and had watched...
- Jigoku Shoujo season 1 & 2. This was the show that made me started watching anime. Call the hell girl through hotline to hell during midnight~ scary eh~
- Black Jack only season 2. A story bout a amazing doctor. Just ok. not that crazy over it.
- Big Windup! The baseball game anime. Well, at least i learn a little bout baseball too. coz, seriously, I have no idea what is baseball. = =~ Not much outcome after watching as well~ but better than none =p~
- The Law of Ueki.. One of my favourite-must-watch-anime! Never want to miss any episode. Although it's quite old already = =~
- Chronicles of the Wings season 2. Unable to watch season 1. But it's my favourite as well.. In this anime, I like the character Kurogane. He's the man in "black" as he wears a black suit from head to toe. He's so cool and also quite quiet compared to Fay and Mokona. That's what make me like him !! In spite of his bad tempered, he's always helping much to the leading character, Syaoran and Sakura. Too bad, that's the end of Chronicles of the Wings, or Tsubasa reservoir chronicle ( in Japanese)
- Shonen Onmyouji. Still catching the episode. Nice to watch too. I like the cute cute Mokun/Guren.
- Fate/Stay Night. The fight of magicians in Holy Grail, with the help of servants. Still watching.~
- Dear Boys. An anime for basketball.
- Samurai X. Just started watching.
- Ranma 1/2. Children's show. Watching it to kill some time.
- La Cordo D'Oro Prima Passo. I was caught by the handsome characters only....= =~
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A New Perspective
I used to hate looking into the mirror. Hated to look at my image. Felt like wanna avoid and take a detour which didn't need to pass by it. I hated my eyes. They're slanting by the sides...looked like a sleepy girl just woke up but in reality she woke up a long time ago. I hated my hair. I hated my curls. They twisted and turned until I look like a freak on the road. That's 1 of the reason I tied my hair up every time I walk the street. I bet everyone will look at this freak with this freaking hair. And I'll be embarassed like a rat! Then, i hated my face! Why is it so broad?! And my teeth. Darn! Shouldn't take off that retainers...although it smells suck!
But today, I learn to love myself. Why? Because.....I watched a motivation programme CD. And it said, you must love yourself before other ppl will love you. It's true. In reality, maybe we won't know, or realize, that actually we rely on our partners to feel that yourself is being pampered, being loved, being taken care of - Being the most special person. To feel we're special, we rely on the third party. And in fact, it should be oneself - your own self - to make you feel special in your own way. Then, someone is able to love the special you. and not vice versa.
So, after that day on, I feel the brand new me again. I start to love looking at myself more and more everyday. I love my eyes, which is big and bright. I love my curls, where other girls just possess straight dull hair. I love my face, as well as my teeth. They're not that bad after all. Instead of complaining, I show my gratitude over them. My personality, my looks, my likes, my dislikes. I am proud. Because i'm unusual in my way although common. I'm no celebrity. Not any experts. But I am ME. This fact will never change forever.
But today, I learn to love myself. Why? Because.....I watched a motivation programme CD. And it said, you must love yourself before other ppl will love you. It's true. In reality, maybe we won't know, or realize, that actually we rely on our partners to feel that yourself is being pampered, being loved, being taken care of - Being the most special person. To feel we're special, we rely on the third party. And in fact, it should be oneself - your own self - to make you feel special in your own way. Then, someone is able to love the special you. and not vice versa.
So, after that day on, I feel the brand new me again. I start to love looking at myself more and more everyday. I love my eyes, which is big and bright. I love my curls, where other girls just possess straight dull hair. I love my face, as well as my teeth. They're not that bad after all. Instead of complaining, I show my gratitude over them. My personality, my looks, my likes, my dislikes. I am proud. Because i'm unusual in my way although common. I'm no celebrity. Not any experts. But I am ME. This fact will never change forever.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Strange dream
I had the craziest dream of my life. Perhaps I've been watching too much Jigoku Shoujo animations.
It goes like this. In this world, it seems that everyone works very hard to live. One day, a few wooden plank drop down from sky and several people took them. But that's not something good. In my family, mysteriously, my didi became my father =.=' ok, it's strange enough. And there was a lady i don't know who which was living with us. Both were one of those several people that obtained that wooden planks. They believe that if you write your names on the planks, you will sent to heaven. However they wrote their names without me and my mummy knowing.
Several days passed, on this particular day, some beautiful ferries just look so alike in those merry-go-rounds appear in the middle of the town. Those who were working knew today what day is it. Somehow, these ferries were transported home. There was 1 as well in my house. My didi and that unknown lady sat in the ferry. And the ferry started it's journey. It floats and went up the stairs. When approaching the walls, hands just like dug through walls and were "welcoming" them. I heard the lady said, "this must be a mistake!"I was there somehow, And I manage to grab my didi.. But he was fully exhausted already...almost bringing him to death. I paniced. I call to my mum, but she doesn't seem to care even though I said "it's true! He's going to die!" My mum wasn't listening. It's me alone. I dreadfully brought my didi (father) to the kitchen. I was so panic. I just don't know what to do now. I just let him go. Hell certainly won't have any water to drink. So, I quickly hand-fed him with water. My didi was going to close his eyes.... the sink was then full with washing liquid diluted with water. mum must have just wash the dishes. I was so barbaric...I drown my didi into the liquid-water. He willingly took a few mouthful of it. I withdawned him out again. He really seems tired.. I told him, with his red face and about-to-close-eyes, "Just want you to know, I love you very much..very very much, you know?" he nodded restlessly. and I continued, "And you're the youngest father anyone could had." (just ignore it ==') I carried him like a koala. The koala hug style. The hug that makes my didi sleeps. I carry him like old times. I sat on the sofa on the living room. I close my eyes while feeling the restless body resting in my arms. I just couldn't imagine it, I couldn't believe it as well. This is farewell..
The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes, were tears. But this dream has ended. It's finally the end. The end of a horrible dream... My eyes were wet and my heart was pounding hard. Truthly, this is the first sad dream that has occured to me. Until tears drop as well. The first thing I wanna do after this dream is to hear his voice...
All I want to say is, having short breaks may gave some reliefs, but when you lose something for good, that time, there's only limited memories. Don't take anything for granted in life. Always show your gratitude toward others. Be grateful.
It goes like this. In this world, it seems that everyone works very hard to live. One day, a few wooden plank drop down from sky and several people took them. But that's not something good. In my family, mysteriously, my didi became my father =.=' ok, it's strange enough. And there was a lady i don't know who which was living with us. Both were one of those several people that obtained that wooden planks. They believe that if you write your names on the planks, you will sent to heaven. However they wrote their names without me and my mummy knowing.
Several days passed, on this particular day, some beautiful ferries just look so alike in those merry-go-rounds appear in the middle of the town. Those who were working knew today what day is it. Somehow, these ferries were transported home. There was 1 as well in my house. My didi and that unknown lady sat in the ferry. And the ferry started it's journey. It floats and went up the stairs. When approaching the walls, hands just like dug through walls and were "welcoming" them. I heard the lady said, "this must be a mistake!"I was there somehow, And I manage to grab my didi.. But he was fully exhausted already...almost bringing him to death. I paniced. I call to my mum, but she doesn't seem to care even though I said "it's true! He's going to die!" My mum wasn't listening. It's me alone. I dreadfully brought my didi (father) to the kitchen. I was so panic. I just don't know what to do now. I just let him go. Hell certainly won't have any water to drink. So, I quickly hand-fed him with water. My didi was going to close his eyes.... the sink was then full with washing liquid diluted with water. mum must have just wash the dishes. I was so barbaric...I drown my didi into the liquid-water. He willingly took a few mouthful of it. I withdawned him out again. He really seems tired.. I told him, with his red face and about-to-close-eyes, "Just want you to know, I love you very much..very very much, you know?" he nodded restlessly. and I continued, "And you're the youngest father anyone could had." (just ignore it ==') I carried him like a koala. The koala hug style. The hug that makes my didi sleeps. I carry him like old times. I sat on the sofa on the living room. I close my eyes while feeling the restless body resting in my arms. I just couldn't imagine it, I couldn't believe it as well. This is farewell..
The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes, were tears. But this dream has ended. It's finally the end. The end of a horrible dream... My eyes were wet and my heart was pounding hard. Truthly, this is the first sad dream that has occured to me. Until tears drop as well. The first thing I wanna do after this dream is to hear his voice...
All I want to say is, having short breaks may gave some reliefs, but when you lose something for good, that time, there's only limited memories. Don't take anything for granted in life. Always show your gratitude toward others. Be grateful.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Annoyed...
So I'm all alone in the house. And I'm very very very annoyed by this freaking Anwar!!!! Can somebody ask him to stop messaging me? I mean, we're from different channel. I just can't change my channel - my language. How does he can expect me to sms in Malay? I'm sorry. But I'm just not having fun chatting like that. 1 more thing. Please stop miss calling me midnight? haiz... no.1 It so rude that he misscall like that. no.2 My mum's starting to suspect me of having a boyfriend since got once she answered his line. And I'll be in deep trouble. no.3 He's not the one i'm waiting for to misscall me or sms me. If "he" does do that, I won't mind letting him disturb me =D~ But anyways~ It's just a false dream~
Sunday, April 5, 2009
A typical Love Story あいしてる～ねがいよ
It started when I first entered class. It didn't bring me any notice for him. I came across feelings for the other guy. But, I was in the same group with him before... I didn't know anything unusual.. I remember at the very end of the class, he made me laugh...well, as well as the whole class.. I can still remember that moment. He sweats me out! That was the end of the first class... But as soon as I knew it, darn! We're in the same class AGAIN!
Second class started almost the last week of National Service. Why? Why on earth it's both two again?? There's 3 guys from the same class before. And 2 of them which....frust me out here! The guy i had a crush on and a guy that had a crush on me! haha... Guess which "he" i'm referring here. ...The latter "he"... I didn't notice him before that, that's for sure. Come to think bout it, it started when I told the class that I don't have a boyfren. That's when it started. He came across diff stuff the catch my attention. He keeps looking at me, I just panic look away. He "jokingly" gave me things and say things....which is hard for me to describe =.='... he asked me to miss call him 1 day. So I did, when I took back my phone. when this class ends, he walked me all the way to that junction. We may not speak again. But it proves wrong.. I took the insitaive to message him....but.
...But even then, there's doubts.. I mean, no.1 why he's so shy when he's with me only? In front of his friends, he can be so open, he can give me things, he can talk things to me...but with me, he keeps them to himself. I don't understand either. no.2 I was the one who's taking insiative. I was the first to pick up the phone and message him when something stupid topic came across my mind or what.. maybe he's playing expensive..? for some times, I felt that... Am I interrupting him? Am I a frustration to him? Am I disturbing his life? Well, it's still a doubt.. but one day, he was like so angry so frust at something or maybe even me when i spoke to him. I was.. scared... we didn't spoke after that for about 2 weeks. And later 1 day he spoke to me 1 midnight. But I was scared. I don't want him to hate me. I cut off the conversation after a short while. We chould cool off awhile. Weeks have been passed. just like that. just like that.. probably he has some work to do... I seldom see him on again.
But i really wish things would work out between us. It's the first time I felt like this. Or maybe it's just a sweet dream? Or just a 3-month contract. I don't know. I don't wanna know if it's like that...
Second class started almost the last week of National Service. Why? Why on earth it's both two again?? There's 3 guys from the same class before. And 2 of them which....frust me out here! The guy i had a crush on and a guy that had a crush on me! haha... Guess which "he" i'm referring here. ...The latter "he"... I didn't notice him before that, that's for sure. Come to think bout it, it started when I told the class that I don't have a boyfren. That's when it started. He came across diff stuff the catch my attention. He keeps looking at me, I just panic look away. He "jokingly" gave me things and say things....which is hard for me to describe =.='... he asked me to miss call him 1 day. So I did, when I took back my phone. when this class ends, he walked me all the way to that junction. We may not speak again. But it proves wrong.. I took the insitaive to message him....but.
...But even then, there's doubts.. I mean, no.1 why he's so shy when he's with me only? In front of his friends, he can be so open, he can give me things, he can talk things to me...but with me, he keeps them to himself. I don't understand either. no.2 I was the one who's taking insiative. I was the first to pick up the phone and message him when something stupid topic came across my mind or what.. maybe he's playing expensive..? for some times, I felt that... Am I interrupting him? Am I a frustration to him? Am I disturbing his life? Well, it's still a doubt.. but one day, he was like so angry so frust at something or maybe even me when i spoke to him. I was.. scared... we didn't spoke after that for about 2 weeks. And later 1 day he spoke to me 1 midnight. But I was scared. I don't want him to hate me. I cut off the conversation after a short while. We chould cool off awhile. Weeks have been passed. just like that. just like that.. probably he has some work to do... I seldom see him on again.
But i really wish things would work out between us. It's the first time I felt like this. Or maybe it's just a sweet dream? Or just a 3-month contract. I don't know. I don't wanna know if it's like that...
Friday, March 13, 2009
Lif3 in NS (1)
28/12/08 - 0948 - DAY1
The activities haven't started yet and it's getting boring! At least there CHKL student with me.. =)
I met some people there...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
29/12/08 - XXxx - DAY2
闷死了...时间？没闹钟就是酱啦！都说要带闹钟，可是妈妈说不需要。 Now, I've lost track of time and "day" and "night" are the only 2 words that can be used to describe time... We got our clothes today..But, tons of them needed to be changed.. They demo how our place should be kept..Darn! I don't know what to say! I just prefer having it my own way..
Once again,no no wrong...supposed to be today............well, lights are down now..sleeping time..tomorrow there's stuff to doearly in the morning...to be continue...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
30/12 - XXxx - DAY3
As i was saying, yesterday...i went to the shop nearby to buy this botebook and some hangers...A guy known as CC Wai... took the last hangers when i "almost" got my hands towards it..my friends ask me,,why aren't i taking any hangers? i accidentally blurted out...he took the last hangers... and he gave it to me then.. I was..quite regretted bout my actions...Roll call yesterday... he was glancing towards me with his friends...I THINK that they're talking bout me...Haiz....=='
Friends...haiz...i have no idea why it's hard for me to keep friendships...maybe it's because i'm a bore person..I don't seemed to be important...Like i said i wanna to go the public phone to call, they didn't even wait for me at all.. T.T
Anyways, today morning, I was awaken by someone's alarm clock, which is a good thing becasue i was afraid i can't wake up at all.. During KKJ...we need to design a flag and a I-dunno-what-is-that-thing-called and a song.. Boring! felt like calling back hopme and hear that sei zai bao's voice...missed him T.T~
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31/12 - XXxx - DAY5
KKJ period, we get to interact with boys..first time...and we knew some guys...Kevin..Wei Yang..Daniel...Tan...but they have already shaved their heads....which makes them botak...and hard to regconize...lolx~
IN the morning, we gather at the padang for bla bla bla...i dunno what..Mira suddenly asked e to ikrar without earlier notice..haiz..so fish... the jurulatih said i didn't pay attention...By right, I can't even see them white they're doing yesterday...Darn..It's like bullying girls...zzz...
================================================================
1,2,3,4/1/09 - XXxx - DAY6,7,8,9
Ah gong passed away on the last day of 2008 time 3pm+...It seems that he passed away peacefully without any torture.. The monk asks us not to cry....
I was shock when my name was called...I've been told to go to the pejabat..I was shock to see my mum and sis there....Then they told me that ah gong passed away...And i must attend the funeral...
When we reached there, family members were chanting.....for the sake Ah gong will reach heaven safely.......the chant must went on until the day he's cremate...
I remembered...During the cremation...It was so sad to stand the whole family's tears...We had to let them out...so did i.....When the scene of pushing ur ancestors into the burning fire.......no more chances to see him again.......
I got back home to KL they day he's been cremated..I stayed 1 more night there.. Tomorrow I had to go back to camp for NS...I will be missing the picking up ah gong's ashes ceremony....
################################################################
5/1 - XXxx - Day10
went back to camp today...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
6/1/09 - 1335 - DAY11
Today morning, we gathered at the padang as followed..Cikgu Ain put on some music and we danced...fun~ haha....
I heard an angry thing today...somebody actually had a gf but ask another in camp for her handphone number...SWT! I hate this kinda guy!
Today..my first time in class...Mizi...same class as me.. do the V^^ look at me... I have no idea what's he doing..and I don't know how to react....I just ignored him...wakakkaa...then there's Raja..A funny guy which keep making fun od Cikgu Wan...
Luckily there's soem1 with me from the same dorm..her name is Zila..And I was in the same group as her,Mizi, Raja, Natasha, Sam, Khairul, Ika, Dayah..
***************************************************************************************
The activities haven't started yet and it's getting boring! At least there CHKL student with me.. =)
I met some people there...
- Huey Lin
- Steffie
- Lai Kwan
- Hui Jing
- Nadia
- Mira
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
29/12/08 - XXxx - DAY2
闷死了...时间？没闹钟就是酱啦！都说要带闹钟，可是妈妈说不需要。 Now, I've lost track of time and "day" and "night" are the only 2 words that can be used to describe time... We got our clothes today..But, tons of them needed to be changed.. They demo how our place should be kept..Darn! I don't know what to say! I just prefer having it my own way..
Once again,no no wrong...supposed to be today............well, lights are down now..sleeping time..tomorrow there's stuff to doearly in the morning...to be continue...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
30/12 - XXxx - DAY3
As i was saying, yesterday...i went to the shop nearby to buy this botebook and some hangers...A guy known as CC Wai... took the last hangers when i "almost" got my hands towards it..my friends ask me,,why aren't i taking any hangers? i accidentally blurted out...he took the last hangers... and he gave it to me then.. I was..quite regretted bout my actions...Roll call yesterday... he was glancing towards me with his friends...I THINK that they're talking bout me...Haiz....=='
Friends...haiz...i have no idea why it's hard for me to keep friendships...maybe it's because i'm a bore person..I don't seemed to be important...Like i said i wanna to go the public phone to call, they didn't even wait for me at all.. T.T
Anyways, today morning, I was awaken by someone's alarm clock, which is a good thing becasue i was afraid i can't wake up at all.. During KKJ...we need to design a flag and a I-dunno-what-is-that-thing-called and a song.. Boring! felt like calling back hopme and hear that sei zai bao's voice...missed him T.T~
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
31/12 - XXxx - DAY5
KKJ period, we get to interact with boys..first time...and we knew some guys...Kevin..Wei Yang..Daniel...Tan...but they have already shaved their heads....which makes them botak...and hard to regconize...lolx~
IN the morning, we gather at the padang for bla bla bla...i dunno what..Mira suddenly asked e to ikrar without earlier notice..haiz..so fish... the jurulatih said i didn't pay attention...By right, I can't even see them white they're doing yesterday...Darn..It's like bullying girls...zzz...
================================================================
1,2,3,4/1/09 - XXxx - DAY6,7,8,9
Ah gong passed away on the last day of 2008 time 3pm+...It seems that he passed away peacefully without any torture.. The monk asks us not to cry....
I was shock when my name was called...I've been told to go to the pejabat..I was shock to see my mum and sis there....Then they told me that ah gong passed away...And i must attend the funeral...
When we reached there, family members were chanting.....for the sake Ah gong will reach heaven safely.......the chant must went on until the day he's cremate...
I remembered...During the cremation...It was so sad to stand the whole family's tears...We had to let them out...so did i.....When the scene of pushing ur ancestors into the burning fire.......no more chances to see him again.......
I got back home to KL they day he's been cremated..I stayed 1 more night there.. Tomorrow I had to go back to camp for NS...I will be missing the picking up ah gong's ashes ceremony....
################################################################
5/1 - XXxx - Day10
went back to camp today...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
6/1/09 - 1335 - DAY11
Today morning, we gathered at the padang as followed..Cikgu Ain put on some music and we danced...fun~ haha....
I heard an angry thing today...somebody actually had a gf but ask another in camp for her handphone number...SWT! I hate this kinda guy!
Today..my first time in class...Mizi...same class as me.. do the V^^ look at me... I have no idea what's he doing..and I don't know how to react....I just ignored him...wakakkaa...then there's Raja..A funny guy which keep making fun od Cikgu Wan...
Luckily there's soem1 with me from the same dorm..her name is Zila..And I was in the same group as her,Mizi, Raja, Natasha, Sam, Khairul, Ika, Dayah..
***************************************************************************************
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